Yuliia, what chances were there to get to a rehabilitation camp or sanatorium in 2003?

A year after my injury I got to a sanatorium. For two years I went to rehabilitation with my mother; there I saw people who were more or less independent and learned from them what life in a wheelchair is like. That is where I first saw people who had been using a wheelchair for ten or fifteen years. It was a shock to me — I had believed that you do not live that long with such a disability. As for coping with the injury, later I learned from others about the stages of adaptation. I am interested in psychology, and many people shared what they were going through with me.

The first breakdown comes right after the injury. Then a person seems to adapt, and about three to five years later comes the realisation that it is irreversible — and it hits again. The next depressive stage arrives some 15 to 20 years on. I was injured 16 years ago and I can agree with that description. Last year I was taken to hospital and spent the whole year there. So in my case the hard emotional period coincided with a hard physical condition. Of course everything is individual and depends on the circumstances a person finds themselves in.

So now I wish all the women at our camp to enjoy the spring: for me the spring of 2018 passed outside a hospital window, and now I value every day.

Who was with you in the period after the crash?

I lived with my mother and my younger sister. My sister was a teenager and understood nothing at that moment. For my mother it was a shock; today she does not even remember much of those years. So there was no question of moral support. Our finances were hard too — we had no home of our own, and after hospital I was brought to a dormitory. The driver responsible for the crash did nothing to help; even the court hearing took place without my side present. I received the verdict by post. He was to pay me 30,000 hryvnias in material damages and 50,000 in moral damages. So strangers who had never once seen me in their lives and did not understand the nature of the injury held a hearing and valued the harm done. Of course even that ruling was never enforced — I did not receive a single kopiyka. The enforcement service in our country, like the judicial system, is in a dreadful state. Sadly, all of this is about a human life.

Everyone around me hoped for something, but I understood at once that it was very serious. It is hard for me to say anything about my inner state now. I no longer remember what it is like to walk. At the same time I do not fully take in the present. It feels as though I am neither there nor here.

What is your goal now?

To earn money. Everything comes down to it. Even in state institutions you have to leave a lot in envelopes. We all know that no surgeon will take on an operation for nothing. It is also no secret that we buy all the supplies this disability requires ourselves. A comfortable wheelchair has to be bought with our own money too — and the pension is 1,497 hryvnias.

What ideas or opportunities do you have for work?

For a while I painted. I even had commissions. But the three of us lived in one room, and I have to respect my family — you can imagine the smell of the paint. So for now I have given it up, though sometimes I still want to paint something. I spent a lot of time looking for work online and worked from time to time. Unfortunately there are a great many swindlers on the internet: there were cases when I was not paid for work done, or paid less than agreed. I am working now, but the work is poorly paid.

What advice would you give to other people who have found themselves in a wheelchair?

Do everything yourself. Sooner or later you will have to do it anyway.

You have been home for two weeks — tell us how you feel.

The project was run at a decent level, from the organisation to the menu. My impressions are positive, and the new acquaintances were a pleasure. I cannot say that anything in my life changed after the project — perhaps it did, but I do not know it yet… One thing is clear: the time was certainly well spent. It means development, conversation, much that is new. I was glad to take part in all of it, and I am grateful to the organisers for the work and energy they put in. I wish GAR all the best!